Feeling betterish

So two months into the prednisone and I’ve built up enough muscle that a lot of things are finally starting to feel almost normal, like showering and washing dishes and walking to the beach. Which is great! It’s really and truly a wonderful feeling to be able to lift things without strain (not the cat quite yet, but pots and pans at least) and be able to turn over in bed like a normal person. Lots of chairs are still too low, however, so it’s not like I can just run around being a normal person, and every single time I stand up from anything it’s annoying, but everything’s a lot more comfortable. Typing is all the way fast again! The skin redness is pretty much gone too, so that seems like a good sign.

The frustrating thing is not knowing if I’m feeling better because this drug I’m taking is temporarily or permanently effecting a cure. If I can get the immune response to turn completely off and stay completely off without the prednisone everything will eventually be normal, and for lots of people these things just go away and don’t keep flaring up. But if this doesn’t go completely away it won’t matter how good I feel (I mean, obviously I’d rather be comfortable), I still won’t be able to run around like a normal person and travel and bartend and go to festivals, because there’s not really a ‘mostly better’ setting on a disorder like this. Either I’m going to be a functional person again and be back to doing things I like to do, or I’ll be living in a flat, easily set-up house, working from my computer, and not going out much (like now). You can’t really run off to the other side of the world and have adventures if you need to follow a super special diet and flare ups mean you can’t use stairs. Stairs are pretty important. So despite being super stoked about feeling loads better this sure is a weird moment in my life with some very different possible futures…

But my best friend just sent me the most rad dragon onesie ever!! So not only do I not need to leave the house I pretty much don’t need to ever change my clothes again. Pretty stoked.

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